It is noteworthy that the digital age has simplified lives beyond description and made the world a smaller place; however, it is also a great distraction to kids and adults alike. If rules were an important part of child discipline from the ancient times, in today’s digital age, they have become quite a necessity. But then there’s this other thing about rules, making them stick!

Being Objective and Rational about Setting Rules
It is human psychology (perhaps curiosity of what the consequences will be) to wonder what happens if we do something we’re not supposed to. The first thing that comes to a child’s mind when you instruct them not to do something is, “why not?”! Why is it forbidden, what is the big deal? Remember this basic psychology while setting house rules, especially for kids. Any prohibition without explaining the reasons behind it will only lead to building up of the curiosity and eventually flouting the rule. Allay the suspense about the consequences of flouting the rules. Explain why the rule exists in the first place. The child needs to see the consequence as a result of his/her own actions.

Strategy to Build House Rules
Now let us build out a strategy for coming up with clear and unambiguous rules that will stick. At the core of this strategy should be the objective, that house rules must be meant to promote togetherness and an atmosphere of peace and order. From a discipline standpoint, rules should serve more as standards and not punishments. The idea behind setting any rule must be to encourage children to develop a sense of responsibility. Children need to make sense of the rules such that they follow it on their own, even when you’re not watching. Rules should NOT serve as virtual leashes to hold back children from anything! If you do that, the harder you pull the leash, Newton’s law of motion will ensure an equal but opposite reaction.

• The Fewer, the Better: Refrain from writing a rule book. You know what happens to those books, they’re pretty useless unless you’re arguing in a court of law or running a redemption center for convicted felons. Having a rule in place for every imaginable circumstance in the house, is a recipe for disaster. Keep them simple and more importantly, keep them few. Keep in mind your child’s maturity level and the values you want to pass on to him/her as the foundation for your rules. If you’re a single parent, or living with a partner who’s not related to the kids (stepfather or stepmother), if the kid has siblings or if he/she has special needs, all these “special” situations will make your rules unique to your family. Select the most important matters to make rules about.
• Get Rid of “Because I said so” and “For your own good”: If you want your kids to stick to the rules, involve them in setting them up. Yes, let’s leave babies and toddlers out of this of course, but as soon as children begin to understand things around them, make them participate in the discussion about setting up rules. If you have allotted an hour every day for watching television, explain to the child why you think it’s a proper duration. Tell them what they’d have to do for the rest of the time. Allotting time for homework, playing with friends, etc., must be done with the child’s participation. This will not only make the child familiar with the rules but also make them aware that you’re taking into consideration his/her needs. A participative process will automatically lead the child to think that he/she has a say in your scheme of things. You can also explain the need to have a particular rule and the consequences of flouting the rule, during this discussion. The rules will then become more effective.
• Write it Down, Put it Up, Stick it On: Once the list of rules (as small a list as possible) is ready, make an artwork out of it and ensure that the kids get to see it easily while going about the house. Enlisting their help in making a poster out of it or hanging it up behind the door to their room will convey the “fun element” about rules while clearly communicating the seriousness about sticking to them. Revise or revisit the rules whenever needed, not very frequently though. After a few months, when you see that the kids are taking to certain rules quite easily and without supervision, you may compliment them for it and remove that rule from the list. You just need to emphasize that while you’re proud that the rule needs no reminding, it is still an unwritten rule. These actions will enable the kids to place you in their circle of trust and they’re more likely to continue following the rules without constant supervision.
• Do Not Underestimate the Power of Positive Reinforcement: Has it ever happened that you have been driving your car safely for several years without breaking any laws and the one fateful day that things go wrong and you inadvertently make that small error, you’re pulled up and treated like a regular offender? You would perhaps say to yourself, “so much for not making a single mistake all these years!”. How great it would be if someone lauded us for sticking to the rules just as enthusiastically as they would punish the act of flouting. Well, while that may or may not happen with traffic rules, at home you can be the harbinger of change. Observe your kid’s good behavior as intently as you look for goof ups. Recognize their efforts at regularly sticking to the rules. Be generous in advertising their good behavior in front of your spouse and/or other relatives.
• Set an Example, Watch Yourself: It is a common occurrence that parents who set rules about obedience and respect openly misbehave with their own elderly parents or even strangers. Children exposed to such ambiguity have no second thoughts about flouting the rules. If you have a rule about not shouting or yelling stuck on your child’s study room soft board, you need to ensure that some errant driver sliding into your lane while driving does not make your child witness your nasty road rage. If you’re inconsistent in your own behavior, be prepared for a power struggle, especially with preteens and teenaged children.
• Teach your Child that Freedom Comes with Responsibility: Enforcement of rules is possible only if there are distinct consequences to flouting them. Ensure that your kids understand that the consequence is the price they have to pay for flouting the rules. Do not position the consequence as a “punishment”. Keeping the rules positive means, not following the rule will result in a minor or major inconvenience. Just like you’d get a speeding ticket for speeding over limits in traffic, let the consequences be clear and non-violent but adequately inconvenient to the kid. Ensure to communicate the consequences well in advance and start with warnings before strictly enforcing the rules. Everyone needs a “warm up”. Remove “harshness” or “negativity” as much as possible. Also, tone down or tone up the inconveniences based on the kids’ reactions to them. Ensure that none of your consequences for flouting the rules border on abusive parenting. For example, take off that rule that says – “if you don’t get home by 11 at night, make arrangements to stay elsewhere until morning”. For younger kids, do not have a rule that says; “if they don’t eat their vegetables, they’ll have to stay hungry”. There can be no positive learning from these kinds of flaming threats. Let helping with minor household chores or cleaning up their own room, etc., serve as consequences for disobeying rules.

Some Best Practices
A lot of young kids understand better when rules are laid out in a “Dos and Don’ts” fashion. Be tuned in to your kid’s reactions to the rules and consequences. If the kid is unable to make sense of the rules or thinks that the consequences are unfair, have a discussion with him/her without being condescending. If you have more than one kid around the house, make sure that most of your rules stay the same for all of them. If you have a teenaged kid with a curfew limitation that exceeds the younger child, explain why it is so. The aim of having rules is to promote harmony within the family, nobody should feel left out. Trust your kid and do not indulge in excessive monitoring of his/her activities. Don’t come across as someone who’s waiting for the kid to make a mistake! Don’t keep on nagging the kid and reminding the rules at all times. Avoid never-ending, unachievable consequences, don’t make the situation hopeless for the child. Another common mistake parents often tend to make is to hold a lasting grudge for certain actions by the child; for example, giving the child the silent treatment lasting several weeks for an act of misbehavior that occurred some time in the past. This is highly ineffective in correcting the misbehavior. Make sure that the result corresponds to the act of flouting the rule. Don’t blanket the consequence over everything else that the child does!

The key to making rules work is constant positive reinforcement and ensuring that the child is not left alone to deal with the harsh consequences of his/her actions. The aim of having rules is to steer the child towards self-discipline and civil behavior. Teaching the child to behave within the domain of reasonable boundaries needs patient effort. Establishing rules can be very helpful in the process of disciplining children. However, as with all fruits of labor, this one will be sweet and worth all the trouble. With these tips on how to make house rules that stick, hope you can coach your child to become a responsible and independent human being.

Canadian business owners and financial managers assess their commercial business banking and financing needs at different times in their company’s life.

As in many other facets of business, it’s a little difficult to develop a solution and fix a problem if you don’t understand the fundamental problem.

The need to grow your business and be profitable usually drives a bank financing need. A growing business consumes and needs more cash, if only for the fact that you’re building up receivables and inventories.

In Canada, business operating lines of credit are offered by our chartered banks. These facilities finance your A/R and inventory via specific margin calculations.

Most Canadian firms that have this type of credit facility submit monthly financials and aged receivables, which in turn create a new borrowing base under which you can draw funds. Companies that are having challenges (i.e., they are in special loans) or who are in breach of covenants may in fact be required to submit almost daily cash flow and receivable reports .

Although the basic arithmetic around bank financing and commercial banking is simple, in reality there are a lot of other factors that might end up affecting your bank facility.

What are some of these? In the continuum of time, certain industries fall in and out of favor. No better example of this is offered up than the auto industry. Other factors that you as a business owner might not like that affect your bank financing are issues such as your profits (or lack thereof!), the quality of business and outside collateral and your bank’s insistence on personal guarantees.

Bank financing works best under the following condition – your company is expanding but at a reasonable rate. One of the greatest ironies of Canadian business financing is that a hyper growth business, even if its generating profits, is often viewed as financing challenged by a Chartered bank.

Business banking uses a very basic concept that is often misunderstood by the Canadian business owner. That’s simply the fact that with a commercial bank line of credit, you’re drawing on assets of your growing business to pay older items. But wow, when your business ceases to grow or profit, your ability to draw cash flow out of your A/R and inventory business line of credit stops. But you still have operating and fixed-term payment obligations, and it now becomes difficult to pay suppliers.

Companies that have a solid handle on cash flow needs and their historical working capital inflows and outflows are in the best position to manage their firms and access bank financing.

Time and time again, we meet with clients that tell a very similar story – business grew, expansion plans were put in place, fixed and operating costs grew, and .. you guessed it .. sales started flattening or going down. The result – a recipe for financial disaster!

The ability to manage your cash flow or, alternatively, slow down your business is key.

Marc, Seth, and Rene iterate about the iPhone mute switch (sigh), Android interface guidelines, Windows Phone at CES 2012, and PNG compression redux, and interrogate Mike Rundle of Flyosity. Plus, we sneak a question to Joe Belfiore of Windows Phone. This is Iterate!

• Our podcast feed
• Download Directly
• Subscribe via iTunes

• Google’s Android Design site… user interface guidelines for Android 4.0
  • Don’t make your apps look like iOS or Windows Phone 7 on Android
  • The Verge interview with Matias Duarte
  • Khoi Vinh on Android Design guidelines
  • Recap of the Windows Phone $ 100 “smoked” challenge at CES
• PNG compression and iOS apps

• Mike Rundle of Flyosity
• Joe Belfiore of Microsoft
  • Complete interview with Microsoft and Nokia at CES 2012

• Marc Edwards (@marcedwards) of Bjango
• Seth Clifford (@sethclifford) of Nickelfish
• Rene Ritchie (@reneritchie) of TiPb.com

Feedback

• Email: podcast@iterate.tv
• Twitter: @iteratetv
• Facebook: Iterate page

If you’re one of the best-of-the-best-of-the-best in mobile design for Android, BlackBerry, iOS, webOS, or Windows Phone, we’d love to get you on the show, or if you’ve found a drop-dead gorgeous app on any platform and really want us to talk about it, contact us and let us know.

Wedding Day Mishaps

Before you read any further, know that your wedding ‘mishaps’ are the ones that are going to make your wedding truly memorable (for wrong or right reasons, depending on how you handle them). Besides, no one is going to know that the centerpiece was supposed to have shades of baby pink in it or that the dessert served was not what you ordered, unless you tell them. Now, go through the given list and if any of these happen on your wedding day, cover them up quickly or make them your style statement without alerting your wedding guests.

• Wrong Names: It is not uncommon for misprinted names to be found on a wedding invitation. The situation gets more uncomfortable if the Master of Ceremonies (MC), the wedding announcer, or even the wedding officiant reads out the wrong name.
• Disrupted Schedule: A wedding known for tardiness or for being out-of-schedule, is not something that anyone wants, but many carry such ‘tardy’ wedding memories. Sometimes, the order of the wedding ceremonies have to be altered because a particular person (maybe the maid of honor or the best man) or thing (like a wedding cake) is missing or running late.
• Dress Disasters: This is the most common and most frequent wedding day mishap that can occur if the dress (usually of the bridal party) is delivered late, has fitting problems (can be tight or loose), tears or rips at the seams while putting it on, gets stained, the zipper goes on the fritz, someone steps on the wedding dress (could be you!), etc.
• Shoe Problems: There are only three things that can go wrong with wedding shoes: it gets misplaced, doesn’t fit or gets damaged (especially the heels on the bride’s or her bridesmaid’s sandals).
• Dizzy Bride: Amidst all the wedding preparations, excitement and stress, it is not unusual for a stressed-out bride to feel faint, have a headache, breakdown in tears, become very cranky or get panicky. Other bride related mishaps include: breakout a night before the wedding, swollen eyes or adverse effects of a beauty treatment or medicine.
• Makeup Issues: A wedding day is one time when you want to look, not just good or your best, but THE best. Things can go wrong with your planned wedding look when: the makeup artist is late or does not show up, there’s a mess of your hairdo or the makeup or you have a makeup melt down (due to rain, heat or emotions!).
• Decor Hassles: In almost all weddings, there are one or more décor troubles: wrong flower arrangements, poor lighting, incorrect or unseemly linens and table cloth, missing or damaged décor items (like runners or centerpieces), the list is endless and unique to each wedding.
• Music Misery: The music at a wedding can go wrong in any number of ways: a DJ who doesn’t show up, an inexperienced or a know-it-all DJ, inappropriate, mismatched or unrequested music.
• Food Problems: Sometimes, despite all your efforts and precautions to give a pleasant feast to your wedding party, you can land up with a messed-up menu, ‘upgraded’ dishes (which you don’t want) or low-quality food. The wedding cake needs a special mention here because anything can go wrong with it: it topples from its place, gets smashed, the wedding cake you want is out of stock or not available (mostly happens in destination weddings).

• Guest Troubles: Every wedding (except the ones which employ bouncers), is graced with ‘uninvited’ or guests who haven’t replied to an RSVP. In some cases, these ‘extra’ guests become a source of inconvenience to others. Then there are the unfriendly guests who give out-of-place responses or act as joy dampers (mostly the spotlight hogger) and the usual drunk guests who can be great entertainers at times and spoilsports at others.
• Wedding Favor Failures: Another thing to look out for is untimely, faulty or misprinted wedding favors. Quite often, the wedding guests leave behind wedding favors, intentionally (they dislike it, already have or are allergic to it, etc.,) or unintentionally (they don’t know they can take it home or they just plain forget it).
• Weather Woes: This is one problem that is very prominent in outdoor weddings and there’s not much you can do about it. Unexpected rain, excess heat or even storms and strong winds are known to have disrupted more than a few weddings.
• Booking Confusion: In some weddings, the hotel or venue bookings get doubly booked or mysteriously canceled. There are times when you expect your wedding venue or hotel officials to provide you certain services, but you are left disappointed and stranded (because they didn’t have it in the first place or it is unavailable now). Travel arrangements is another thing you can never be sure of (shortage or delay of transport vehicles are common occurrences at most weddings).
• Fussy Wedding Helpers: People you have hired for delegated tasks might cause a problem if they don’t turn up, make a late entry, are unwilling to accommodate changes, go back on their words or do a sloppy work. Wedding officiant, photographers, makeup artists, caterers or even cranky ring bearers and flower girls are a part of this special wedding list.
• Missing Wedding Rings: The reason why missing wedding rings need a special mention is because wedding rings are known to have escaped stringent surveillance. No matter who has the responsibility to safeguard and present the wedding rings, they can go missing (often because some friend or family member had the sudden urge to take a ‘peek’ before the ceremony).

Managing Wedding Day Disasters

Some of the mishaps mentioned above (and those left out) are beyond your control (believe it or not, you cannot control the weather!). In such situations, you have two options: freak out (cry, yell or frown through your wedding) or do some quick, effective ‘wedding disaster management’ with aplomb and dignified grace. If you think the second option suits you best, here are some helpful tips.

• The first important thing for managing wedding day disasters is to be prepared. Ask your maid of honor to carry an emergency kit which should have your medications, safety pins, adhesives (super glue, regular tape, double stick tape), toiletries, hairspray, comb, lotions, deodorants, perfumes, makeup items, eatables (snack bar, crackers and mints), tissues and hand towels, extra pair of matching jewelry, lipstick and nail polish, eye drops, stain remover wipes, mending kit, baby wipes and white chalk (very important).
• Leave a person you trust (a wedding planner, friend or family member) to handle wedding day mishaps and disasters so you can participate in your wedding celebrations.

• Keep a time margin for everyone and insist that everyone stick to it religiously. As much as possible, bring all the essential items before time and store them in a proper place. Remember it is better to be early than late.
• In case you having dress problems, use safety pins or the sewing kit to tuck the loose ends, remove one line of the outside seam and then sew it up. In the worst case scenario, you might have to buy a new dress from a nearby store.
• Don’t keep anything that might stain (colored liquids, chocolates, etc.), in the dressing room and have only the people you need in the dressing room. Crowd equals to mess, and mess equals to mishaps.
• Keep the weather in mind while deciding on the makeup. If for some reason the makeup is ruined and you cannot take a break, discreetly remove it using baby wipes (take the help of your maid of honor or else you might end up ruining your look more).
• Use eye drops to remove redness in the eye and special eye cream (not ice – it will dry your eyes and make them itchy) to reduce swollen eyes.
• Use a stain remover wipe or a white chalk to get rid of dress stains at the wedding ceremony or the wedding reception. So either carry them with you or ask someone else to do it for you.
• Request the organizer at the wedding venue (or the caterer) to arrange extra chairs for extra guests.
• As far as possible, ignore the disruptive guests, and if they still continue doing their things, ask a close friend to have a discreet chat with them or their companions.
• Give out slices of ‘secretly’ cut regular cream cake if your wedding cake is smashed or delivered late.
• If your DJ puts up a no-show or is late, connect an iPod or MP3 player or if there is a singer among your family or friends, ask them to sing without instruments while something else is being arranged.
• Give out umbrellas and hand towels for when it rains. If you can, ask a few volunteers to aid the wedding guests in making trips.
• For things only you know went wrong, smile and pretend as if it was always a part of your plan!

Proper Wedding Day Planning

The most (and the only) important thing you can do to have a dream wedding is plan out the whole thing and then execute it in the best way you can. Because of the wedding mishaps you might have on the wedding day, you don’t have to throw your hands up and say it’s never going to work your way so why strive. You are right, there is no point in striving but there is a huge reward in trying. For starters, you will be more prepared, more in control and when anything goes wrong, you will know where to turn for help. All you have to do is follow some tips for wedding planning and preparation.

• Go With the Flow: Your wedding day is not the time to ‘experiment’. So don’t try a new beauty treatment or order a dish you are not sure of just because some say it worked for them. There is comfort in familiarity. It does not mean that you do what everyone does, it merely is a caution against things that can turn out either way. You will be more at peace knowing what to expect than anticipating any ‘surprises’ that might be closer to a shock. If you still want something different, have a trial (even for food dishes) at least a few days before the wedding day.
• Hire With Care: For any service (right from the wedding officiant to the valet), know whom you are hiring. Take an interview, ask for references, acquaint yourself with the liability policy and the consequence of violating your wishes, in short look before you leap. When you are sure you want to go ahead, be specific and firm (with extra emphasis on exceptions like things you absolutely detest or don’t want, food allergies, religious requirements, etc.) in stating what you want till the opposite person has clearly understood your wedding expectations. Then put every tiny detail that you discuss in writing and get it signed by the concerned person. For any future changes, keep only one point of contact so that there are no confusing instructions or blame games later on.

• United Wedding Stands: The worst thing you can do is trying to make your wedding a one-man (or woman) show. You need help. It can come from friends and family or hired from outside. But don’t go overboard – chances are you might not remember who was left in-charge of the wedding runners. Have a core team (people you can trust with your life), and inner circle (people you know won’t let you down) and the fringe men (people you, or your core, think can be trusted). Keep in constant touch with the core, ask the core to supervise the inner circle while you look into their work sometimes and leave the fringe men completely under the care of the core.
• Wish Upon a List: For your wedding, make friends with ‘Lists’. List has a group of friends called the Wedding Checklist (enables you to keep a tab on the wedding preparations), Photo Shoot List (doesn’t let you forget any wedding shot you want), Menu List (makes it easier to check on the food before the wedding guests arrive), Music List (so that you and your wedding party are not left at the mercy of the DJ’s tastes and whims). The best part is you can make ‘clones’ of these lists to assist you, your helper and the concerned persons and no one will ‘forget’ your wedding day expectations. (Just don’t misplace them because they will be of no use if found after the wedding.)
• Rehearsal Makes Perfect: Try out everything you are going to use on the day of your wedding; as far as possible, a night before the wedding day. If anyone in your bridal party has made even slight alterations in the dress, have a trial again, preferably in the store or with the tailor. This applies to even the groom and his groomsmen (you don’t want the best man in a tux one size too big at the altar!). Try out any new hairstyle or makeup well in advance so you don’t need to discover new ways for looking the way you want to.
• Beloved Plan B: No matter which part of the wedding you are planning, have a contingency plan ready. Where possible put the Plan B in motion and if not, be ready with contacts whom you can approach when a particular need arises. For instance, take the contact number of local bakeries whom you can contact in case of a wedding cake mishap. Make provision for umbrellas, shelters or tents if you are not sure of the weather in an outdoor wedding. Order extra wedding favors, add 5 (or more) members to the number of your guests. Contact and confirm all orders and invited guests.

For most people, especially the brides, their wedding day is very close to their heart and something that they have planned for a long time. But in the quest to make your wedding, the wedding of your dreams, don’t forget the real reason for the wedding day: your marriage. So keep yourself calm, and enjoy even the seemingly ‘bad’ experiences. If not, the one thing you are sure to regret more than the wedding day mishaps and disasters is, wasting time fretting over things instead of participating in the joy and celebration of your wedding.

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